Remember us?
Much has happened over these last months and in the midst of it all we didn’t seem to have steam to write it all out. I think I speak for Adam and I both when I say we’ve been pressing on and feeling the weight of everyday living.
Having resided in our Costa Rican homeland for almost 2 1/2 years, I have come to realize it takes seasons to rebound from the shock of moving to a different world and learning new everything’s. The fatigue of such an experience has revealed certain ruts in my life and, ultimately, ruts in my heart. Thankfully, I am learning first hand that ruts do NOT disqualify us from Kingdom work.
They are simply part of the journey.
As I think about the ways I feel stuck and am tempted to rehearse inadequacies…
I remember others who were once stuck…
Friends like Zacchaeus, the woman at the well, Jonah, Elijah, David, and Job.
These… just a few stories of where God didn’t wait for His people to get out of their ruts in order to draw near.
This brings me great hope.
As I wrestle… He is working.
Here in the middle of now.
In the middle of floods…
Causing life to feel blurry and weary.
In the middle of treacherous traveling…
When taking new paths and the way feels unsure.
In the middle of teaching and creating…
And life feels like it is getting lost in translation.
In the middle of pursuing that which really matters…
And receiving the unexpected offering of a hand…
Providing much desired togetherness.
In the middle of the everyday chaos…
The normals…
As well as in the special, life giving advancements.
In the middle of soul testings…
Heart wrenching sacred places…
When just a few short months separate this…
From this…
Life….
Living…
Dying…
Celebrating…
Feeling…
Creating…
Working…
Mourning…
Journeying…
It’s all a PROCESS.
And it’s in the process that reoccurring thoughts circulate…
“What if somehow I am missing my calling… wasting potential… failing.”
“What if I never become all that I long to be or dreamed I would be…”
And then I am reminded…
Largely what I have been called to do…
Is raise up the next generation of Faith walkers.
The next season of encouragers…
The next re-counters of His faithfulness.
Far surpassing me…
New hearts will be compelled…
They will lean in…
Souls mesmerized by love.
Children from all over the world will begin writing their own stories because maybe…
Just maybe….
In the middle… right in the middle…
A little girl trusted and raised a family.
And as the new leaders lead…
New generations of worshipers will be drawn in…
And they too will begin to lead in powerful ways… changing the course of history.
They will experience for themselves…
Emmanuel… God with us…
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE!
Right in the middle of faithful songs…
Sung in the middle ruts…
He actively writes new lyrics.
Even when I feel wasteful…
He wastes not!
And my children shall remember this part too.
Because they have been singing alongside their mama… right in the middle…
Witnessing The God ever present in her weaknesses.
And ultimately…
Right in the middle…
He keeps inviting us deeper.
After several, long months of intentional prayer and counsel.
In addition to our original calling as missionaries…serving,counseling, providing, loving and equipping our Tico friends..
The Lord has asked us to partner with Him as shepherds of our local Sàmara church.
We already have a deep love for these people, and we believe serving in this capacity will only further advance what we are already doing here.
As of November 5th we will become volunteer lead pastors, or as I would nervously say…”Mother and Father” of this precious body.
As we continue to press on… right in the middle…
Two things come to mind…
One… a crazy song I remember hearing as a child… “Stuck in the middle with you,” by Stealers Wheel.
It reminds me… I am happy to be anywhere that Jesus is… even if it’s in the sticky spaces of my life.
And Two… if I happen to revisit the ruts…
The good news is Emmanuel will be right there too…
Calling me down from that tree…
Meeting me at the well…
Rescuing me from the belly of a whale, tragedies and other dark spaces.
Right in the middle.
This is our God.
Please continue to pray for the health of our family, encouragement for our souls, fellowship for our hearts and courage to shepherd a church in the middle of it all.
In the middle,
The Backwards Missionaries
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