The days have been full since I (Kelly) last shared.
We spent much of last week trying to recover from a (thankfully) minor kitchen fire.
Beyond blessed that we caught it when we did.
Whew!!!
Never in all my life have I had to learn so many new things all at once.
They are all good things, but the learning curve is VERY REAL and VERY HUMBLING.
For instance, almost every area of my life that I would typically draw an ounce of identity from has changed. Whether it’s being a pastor’s wife, lay- leader, baker, decorator, errand runner, worship leader, or even homeschool mom…
It’s all gone.
As Charli would say, “See ya, sucker!”
And now…
Now I am having to start from scratch.
I am an official “student” of everything.
I am currently re-evaluating who I really am at my core.
For instance, what am I currently doing with all those hidden words and promises that have been sown into my heart over the years?
Am I putting those into practice?
I’ve also had to sort through old fears in this new land…
Like when my Smalls are sick and healthcare isn’t readily available…
Do I remember He doesn’t lead us where He doesn’t go?
Do I remember “my” Smalls are really “His” Smalls?
Do I remember He has promised, “He will never leave us or forsake us…”
That He is good and always provides?
My spirit says, “Yes!!!”
My flesh says, “Not sure???”
I am so thankful for Our Big God… living and active in small bodies…
They reveal Jesus…
They minister to me even when I don’t deserve it.
They impart vision when I have trouble seeing for myself.
And in the midst of months of utter chaos…
I have seen my Good Pastor yield in ways I never thought possible.
I have seen him shepherd and love the “least of these.”
In a season of what feels like constant opposition…
The Holy Spirit just keeps spurring him on.
This process is marking him, changing him, empowering him, and (lucky me) I get a front row seat.
Adam is on fire to share God’s goodness like never before.
He is always looking for an opportunity.
Even yesterday, before he would pay some men that helped him get across the border he insisted on praying for them first.
This man is teaching me about “putting into practice.”
This man is teaching our family.
This man will teach other men and other families.
This adventure has made him more alive.
This gives me great courage.
His transformation alone reminds me that I too can be changed.
Who he is, who he is becoming, and how he loves stirs great hope for my own story and for our smalls.
Each day I am seeing more clearly…
That moving to a new world…
Means letting go of the old one.
It is not possible for me to do my old life here… this includes family life.
I am learning what it looks like to be a…
A small…
To be led…
To be fed…
To be clothed…
Often time by the hands of my very own husband.
But isn’t this a portion of what we hope to impart…
Families being led by good shepherds…
Daddies guiding and lovingly leading those tempted to feel stuck and utterly lost?
I have learned (in the most costly of ways) that often you have to first obtain for yourself…
That which you long to give away.
Seems like more than learning Spanish, I am learning more about…
About yielding…
About following…
About releasing control and trusting…
And yes, about family.
This season is most definitely a “putting into practice” season for me.
It’s almost never pretty, but I am counting on it being worth it.
Thank you for continuing to pray courage over me and our family.
Your partnership is more valuable than you know.
Bendiciones!
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