Hey friends, thought it might be helpful to catch a glimpse of what it looks like to be the backwards wife… that is really how I feel most days…
Backwards!
Our lives have been totally crazy over the last few months.
All of my safety idols have been shaken and stripped as we move into a season with…
No job…
No savings…
No insurance…
No familiarities…
No family…
No friends…
Just us and Jesus.
As we motion deeper into missionary status, I’ve realized I have some stereotypes buried in my mind that have caused significant turmoil in my heart.
They would be small to most… They have been revelatory to me.
Somewhere along the way, I must’ve picked up the lie, if you are called to missions, You aren’t allowed any pleasures. You must live in the bush, have little food, zero luxuries, and, absolutely, by no means, could your home have any personality.
If you know me, you know part of my heart is to restore. Something in me comes alive as I take something others have deemed trash and turn it into something not only useful, but beautiful.
The precious soul who purchased our home and who will be living at The Rose wanted practically all of our belongings (only God!). The few items she didn’t want we opted to pack on the container.
As our 3ish pieces of furniture stood all lined up, 
I really started to wrestle with guilt (maybe even shame). “These are too nice!” “What will people think?” “Perhaps people will not want to support us if they see our home is not in the bush, and I own a restored, thrift store find.” UGH, the battles that wage war in my mind. I literally spent DAYS feeling guilty about wanting to make our next tent a home.
Oh, the fear of man, and the lies I entertain!
I have realized since then, I have several stereotypes that need to be addressed.
Stereotypes can be a breeding ground for fear and lies.
It’s funny, when I think of pioneering, I often think of the change we are going to encounter on the field and the changes we hope to implement.
But, it’s really the pioneering of my own heart He’s after.
Some lessons learned to date… Be me…
Rejoice in His provisions and don’t be ashamed of His blessings (He is, after all, the best Daddy)… Give myself grace… Celebrate all progress, even when it’s a crawl… Don’t miss the sacred in the midst of the crazy or seemingly mundane… Focus on being present in the chaos… And… flush all stereotypes.
This adventure isn’t meant to be an exact copy of another’s. It’s His story. And He is leading. The only view that matters is His.
Still much to learn on this uncharted adventure. And, I’ve always been terrible with roadmaps.
Thankful for our Good Pastor.
He has been a rock of faith, a pillar for our entire family, His compass leading us onward.Thanks for walking beside,
Kelly
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