Transitioning…

We have come full circle on our 7 years of completion.

Transitioning back has been just that…
Full of transitioning.

Ending one season and entering into the new can be thrilling…
But it can also remind you of the apparent voids and empty spaces.

If allowed…
Transitioning leads you to process what has been lost and left behind.
The years that have passed in a blink…

While reflecting on the learning and what is being gained…
Grieving of what has been surrendered also leaves a mark.

Beauty and pain are offered in every season.

3 months into this new journey…
It feels like its own separate lifetime.

We have delighted in the unexpecteds…

Treasured reunions of the heart…

Beholding spring again after 7 long years.

I am not sure if you have gone a year without spring…
But I don’t recommend it, if at all possible.

This year spring felt especially holy.

This spring has drawn out some of my purest worship.

Spring has reminded me that when all looks dead and barren…
When hope is tempted to lose it’s battle and believe beauty could never return…
The seemingly impossible happens…
Restoration blooms.

I have been soulfully touched by all of spring.

Perhaps it’s because…
I am humbly realizing that in order be an ambassador of true hope…
You have to fight for it yourself first.

This season continues to be full of messy fighting for me personally.

Opportunities to choose fear seem to lurk around every corner.

As our two Smalls started a beautiful new school…
They have been chronically and intensely sick.

Trying to navigate the emotional transitions of beginning a new life and shepherding hearts has also revealed how many ways I fall short.

My personal health has been so discouraging.
Somedays I feel as though I have no hope at all for the future.
About a year ago I had over 20 teeth restored due to whatever is happening in my body…
Today as I type I still have no real clear answers, and I see the damage returning.
It’s hard not to make mental agreements with fear.

When you are transitioning…
You don’t have everything established.
For us this means many things…
Such as…
Where will our home be?
What job is God calling us to?
Will we be provided for?
Will we be forgotten?
What doctor can really help me?
Will I ever be healthier again this side of Heaven?
I feel weepy as I type.

Transitions are full of uncertainties and messy…
But made endurable when surrounded by others who are in it with you.

Adam continues to be a beautiful example of strength and trust.
He continues to care for our family as he cries out to Jesus.

We are slowly trying to rebuild in the transitioning.
God continues to prove His loving kindness in the midst of continued mystery…

And I know I am ruined for anything less than quiet trust.

I am getting to put into practice all His truths…
The ones that don’t feel true…
The ones I want to give up on.

Transitions are normally not seasons of glamour…
And I often find myself crawling through.

It doesn’t feel lovely.
Many moments I feel like I am floundering and failing.

I often wonder where I am…
And when I feel completely lost…
Which seems to be more often than not these days…

I remember the one thing.
The one thing that changes everything…
Not just for me but for EVERYONE for ALL TIME…

Jesus was resurrected…
He didn’t stay dead.
Hope sprang.

Life spring…
What was hiding behind the dead…
NEW life…
A better life was being miraculously crafted.

There is resurrection power where we are…
There is resurrection power in where we will be…
There is resurrection power in the transitioning.

This is the anchor for my soul today.

Death may be chasing us down…
But so is LIFE…
And how much greater is LIFE?

There is no question…
Transitions often feel out of control and our comfort zone.
I have found myself desperately clinging to the strong hands of strangers to rekindle truth…

Truth reminding us…
Life is full of transitions…
But HIS FAITHFULNESS ENDURES through ALL GENERATIONS…
And HIS plans for us are for a FUTURE FULL OF HOPE.

As our family and my heart are right in the middle of continued transition…

I pray my mess can be your blessing today…
A reminder that no matter where you find yourself….
No matter how dead or brittle your situation…
He is at work…

And your spring is coming…
And it is HOLY beautiful.