Can’t believe that I only have 2 days until I fly away!
Feelings…
Thoughts…
Needs…
Feelings
Such a mix of emotions…
Deep gratitude because of the love of such sacred friends. Overall, the feeling of being loved has been the predominant feeling of the last week. Friends like my buddy, Tom Tom, make me realize I’ve only begun to love people based on the powerful way he loves. I have much to learn, and, yet, being loved is the greatest gift.
It feels good to pay respect to my people.
At the same time, such deep levels of tired… both physical and emotional. Packing, unpacking and then packing again. Saying, “Good-bye” over and over… very tiring. Feels like a soul tired that can’t be cured with a nap or good night’s sleep. I’m as tired as three-legged sled dog… both physically and mentally.
I regret to say that today the emotion I’ve felt with the greatest intensity was frustration and panic. The last few days I have experienced significant degrees stress. My nerves are pretty fried. After doing everything I could to make sure I had all of my documentation prepared a long time in advance, my liaison for residency informed me of a few new details for those documents. Now I have to re-order almost every document. Both the time and the money this involves… well, it got my goat. In addition, the situation with the closing on our house has had a few wrenches thrown into it. The stinker related to our closing in Costa Rica is costing me an additional $4600!
Welcome to the Costa Rican way, right? I only have one business day to get everything done that I need to get done (based on all of the new information I just got today). Between tonight and tomorrow morning, I will have overnighted 5 different documents. I can’t count the number of emails I’ve sent asking, “Are there any other things that you need from me?”
I would say that I’ve been battling with frustration, but “battle” is not the right word. I’m embarrassed to say that it has been kicking my tail this week.
Thoughts
No matter how stressed or frustrated I am, the Lord has been so good to me (not just my amazing family and all of the spiritual gifts). Man, I really have incredible friends. In the last few days I’ve gotten to spend time with old friends where I literally laughed until I was crying uncontrollably. So blessed.
Other random thoughts…
What in the world is this whole Costa Rican adventure going to be like?
What’s it going to be like to not have a cell phone or data plan? (I’ll end up getting a Costa Rican cell phone, but I won’t have data… and I won’t even have a phone in the US for the remainder of my time here!)
Thoughts to remind myself:
“Don’t wallow in distress. Don’t rehearse the frustrations or disappointments. Remember all that the Lord has done!”
“Stop saying how tired I am!” (That’s self-fulfilling prophecy!)
“Don’t miss the opportunities right in front of you!”
Needs
Prayer… favor with residency peeps, favor with relationships in Costa Rica, more love, more wisdom, more Kingdom authority, creativity / innovation
Monthly contributors… we’ve been so incredibly blessed by the one-time gifts. We’re still in major need of monthly contributors. All gifts are a blessing.
Last
The loudest voice I heard tonight… “Remember, I’m for you. I’m with you. I’m doing you good. Actually, I work all things for your good. You’re not on your own in this.”
Grateful for this voice… have a feeling it was there all the time. I just missed it for awhile. He’s been holding onto me all along. It’s not the strength in my hand, but the strength in His hand that sustains me. Grateful for a good Daddy who always has our best interest at heart.
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