why?

Why???
One of the most popular questions to ever be asked.
I know… I myself have asked this very question more times than can be counted.
This tiny, three little word seems to pop up a lot in my brain.
It also seems to carry a lot of power.

“Why” has come to mind so much these past few weeks as my heart has ached for many.
Loved ones battling illness.
Friends and family dealing with heavy hearts.
Tragedies… poverty… addictions… abandonment… injustices…
Untimely deaths.
Good or bad…
I wonder why?

I’ve also been doing a lot of questioning regarding the Christmas story…
Like…
WHY did God, Creator of the universe, CHOOSE to become smaller than small…
Be born of young, teenage girl…
A girl no doubt not much older than our Amelia?
This girl… accepting the most impossible, intimate invitation a human will ever receive…
Literally, carried the SON of GOD in her very womb.
The acceptance of that invitation lead her to journey an insane distance while…
VERY pregnant, VERY uncomfortable and VERY exhausted,
Only to begin contractions and have no place to stay…
Painfully, she would labor and give birth.
Her only surroundings…
Stinky animal poop, filth, strangers and a husband who just so happens to NOT be the father of the baby she is birthing.

And her reward????

Walking out one of the hardest and most excruciating paths known to man…
Ridiculed her entire life…
Rearing a child that was hated and scorned…
Only to have her miracle-God son murdered before her very eyes.
Talk about favor?

And Jesus Himself…
The God-man… lived a life completely opposed.
Even members of His own family and hometown friends thought He was a joke.
Nearly EVERYONE He poured into completely abandoned Him…
His beloved cousin was grotesquely murdered.
He walked through temptation, heartache, loneliness, hunger, thirst, disappointment, deception, and pain that no human will ever know…
Why?

One thing that has really pricked my spirit this holiday season…
Is when God chose to bless the world with the announcement of His son’s birth…
He sent Holy messengers from Heaven to a small audience of people…
People the world thought were “nobodies.”
Just stinky, seemingly unimportant shepherds in a field tending their animals in the dark night.
Why?

It seems like there could’ve been better, easier, less messy, more glamorous ways of doing ALL of this.
If I had been consulted, things would have looked MUCH differently.
This leads me to the answer to my “whys?”
His ways are HIGHER than my ways.
I don’t understand.
I feel confused.
I wrestle with hurt in the questioning.
But I can remember…
Jesus never chose easy.
He, Mary and the shepherds had something uniquely in common…
They heard the voice of Heaven, and they obeyed when their eyes COULD NOT see.

May the same be true of me… no matter how scary.

This is the miracle of the season!
We have a God that CHOSE to draw near to us.
He CHOSE to live the most difficult human life every lived.
All so we could draw strength from the Living Testimony.
Especially when we deserve the very opposite.
He is our undeserved HOPE.

It’s the story of Jesus I must recount when I waver in the “whys” of my own.
Yes… I live in uncomfortable, heartbreaking, terrifying mystery at times…
But,  I KNOW we serve the God that spared no heartache in order to be near.
So in the midst of all that attempts to confuse me…
I recount who HE was, who HE is, and HE who is to come.

He is the God of mysteries…
Which would also explain why He is also called Emmanuel…

Christ who came to be WITH US.
The God that chose to answer our “whys” by offering His life.
He is indeed with us.
He is indeed with you!

A Merry Christmas reminder shared from my own heart…
As I too continue on the journey of discovering more about this undeserved grace.
Kelly, on behalf of The Backwards Missionaries